For some of you this is an update to old news. For others it is a brand new subject. Here is the chronicle of the saga:
In December of 2007 I received a card from my mother containing a check for $5000 along with the note that she was sending the gift to facilitate me having laser surgery on my eyes. Seems we had briefly talked about this topic some months earlier--and she wanted to pass along some of her inheritance from my grandmother to bless me in this way.
I was stunned! This came out of the blue and I immediately had a sense that this had some spiritual significance. Part of the reason for that is the number '5' in Scripture speaks symbolically of 'grace' and '1000' speaks of 'full stature, mature judgment or mature service.' So I inquired of the Lord, 'What is this all about Lord?' Immediately I heard the Spirit whisper to me, 'First the natural, then the spiritual.' I checked the Scripture and found the reference for this I Corinthians 15:46.
'Woohoo!' Get a simple laser procedure--and presto, 20/20 vision for these nearsighted eyes and the same in the spiritual realm. I was definitely psyched. So I did research, found a good doctor, got my eyes checked and scheduled the latest and best procedure to correct the vision in my eyes. That took place mid-January, 2008. The healing proceeded apace. Only one problem--after the initial three month healing period it was clear that both eyes were dramatically under-corrected. I could see better to be sure, but was a long way from 20/20.
My doctor said, 'This happens about 1% of the time.'
Great! It was 100% of my experience. Not a fun time for the great man of faith. I had a late night pity party in the middle of this season, 'Lord, what the heck is going on here?! Why does everything, every gain have to be so hard? What are you doing here? I didn't pursue this; you brought this to me. Now what am I supposed to do?'
Again, graciously, the Lord spoke clearly to me, 'Walk by faith and not by sight.' That sounded like the Lord. I had even read it in the Scriptures. So I began to repent of my pitiful self-pity and set myself for a much deeper work. Over the course of the last year I have seen the Lord bring to light attitudes, surface disappointments and discouragements and point the way toward a course correction in my thinking.
Back to my eyes. I was scheduled for an 'enhancement' procedure on my right eye back in November. Great! Then three days prior to the surgery the doctor's office called to tell me that the clinic where they leased equipment had gone bankrupt and locked their doors. The doctor had to find another clinic where he could gain access to the equipment. I just laughed. By this time I knew that more was happening behind the scenes. The downturn in the economy had closed the original clinic. And facing the crises in the financial/political arena and the moral/spiritual realm were part of the sight correction the Lord was trying to accomplish in me. So from November of 2008 through March of 2009 the Lord was working with my attitudes and perspectives.
Then on March 6 I finally had the procedure on my right eye at a clinic down in Fairfield. Everything went great! The healing has gone well.
Yesterday I went for a check up. Here's the 411: 20/20 in my right eye! 'YES!'
What about my left eye? Glad you asked. Well as it turns out, my left eye is currently about 20/45. I could get that corrected as well. But as things stand I have full range of vision in all distances. I can read without cheaters through my left eye and see mid-range (i.e. read my watch on my wrist, see what is on my plate when eating, see the numbers on the dashboard) clearly through that eye as well. Distance vision is great through the right eye. Were I to have further correction on my left eye I could see 20/20 for distance in both eyes, but would absolutely be unable to read anything or see mid-range without correction. Hassle city.
So, what is the moral of this saga? Here are a few tentative thoughts:
--1) God is always up to more than we give him credit for. We think we know--but we are usually clueless as to the fullness of what he is up to.
--2) Expected outcomes almost always guarantee disappointment and resentment.
--3) God is good, gracious and long-suffering.
--4) It is better to take our questions, complaints and misunderstandings directly to God rather than bury them deep inside and pretend to be spiritual.
--5) Seeing things clearly is better than seeing them fuzzy.
Thanks to all who have prayed for me during this 18 month saga. Thanks to those who refrained from preaching to me and just patiently encouraged me. (I know that I was obsessing about this for several months--but hey, there was a lot on the table with this deal.)
Blessings,
Pastor Rick
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